Sunday, June 23, 2013

but I only blinked once...



I am not sure what happened because I only blinked once... a quick blink... 
One that you don't even notice. 
A blink without thinking.
Seriously... 
blink


 Tiny babies turned into young ladies,
Elementary school turned into middle school,
Milk mustaches turned into glossed lips.
blink

Best friends documenting seven years of blinks
all their own. 
Do they realize the journey they have begun? 
Together.
Thank God... together.

Kindred spirits.

As I write I promise myself to blink more deliberately,
not to be caught off guard again 
by the surprising beauty of my growing girl and her bff.

Breathe and blink...





Thursday, July 12, 2012

pear lane


There are some things in your life, 
in your season, 
in your evening
that bring all good things together.

These things show the essence of something, 
the exact illustration of a feeling or an emotion.

For me it's 
an evening walk down Pear Lane.

That is summer.

It's my summer now.

Not the summer of my childhood.
It's the summer of my childrens' childhood.


It's the irrigation water running down the ditches 
that my children swam in when they were little.
The same water that quenches the blackberries 
that fill our pantry 
with wild blackberry jam 
for the seasons ahead.


It's the neighboring farmer's gate that my children sneak through 
to spy the fish
swimming in the
summer water troughs.


It's the giant oak that stands in the middle of the pasture, 
witnessing every season and showing it through it's branches.
The golden dried grass smooth around it.
The black cows sleeping under it.
The summer sun setting behind it.

It's summer.
It's home.

It's walking hand in dirty little hand
with my children, walking with my husband,
listening to the collective quiet exhale as evening emerges in the shade
and the hot day fades away.

It's Pear Lane.






Monday, June 25, 2012

a girl's best friend


Consider the raised flower bed. I have always wanted them.

Always.

There is something so organized and clean and orderly about raised flower beds.

Contained.

The chaos of a summer garden can be contained in a raised bed. Strong redwood setting clear boundaries for what should and should not be happening in that bed. No weeds. No chickens. No mess.

Are these raised beds a metaphor for my secret desire to have a quiet and orderly life? Do they represent calm control over things that are usually quite unruly?

Or...

Are these raised beds a symbol of possibilities and creativity? Empty soil canvases waiting for exotic herbs and gorgeous cutting flowers?

Or...

Are raised beds simply the answer to my aching summer-garden back and perpetually dirty knees?

Could be.

Or, it could be that these particular raised beds are so special because they were built by the hands that mean the most to me. It was noticed that I love raised beds even when he doesn't. The corner posts were finished with the beveled edges that I love on pasture fences. He remembered that.

Who needs diamonds to feel loved? I have raised beds.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

2012 County Fair

You take one goat.


Sprinkle in one small chicken.


Add one good-sized steer.


Don't forget a dozen brown eggs.


And what does it make? One excellent County Fair!






Monday, June 4, 2012

mother to mother to mother


Mother Nature is amazing to me.

Truly.

I always imagine Mother Nature as a beautiful spiritual, ethereal being. A wispy, wise, and peaceful presence.

Living on a farm we see Mother Nature's work daily. It has to be her. Who else would make the fruit trees bloom at just the right time in the spring? Who else would wake the sleeping daffodils under ground and tell them to come forward and announce themselves?

Who else would fill Bessie, our true Mother Hen, with the consuming "broody" urge to set on a clutch of eggs? Mother Nature has set a farm Mother to work. The work of unrelenting patience. Setting herself still and quiet for 21 days on a clutch of fertile eggs borrowed from the farm next door.

She's done it before, so we figured she could do it again. But things didn't go as planned for Bessie. After two weeks she became confused one night when returning to her nest after a short snack and leg stretch... She returned to the wrong nesting box. The eggs lay cold all night.

With a new batch of eggs, we start the count down again, as Bessie will not be deterred. Her instincts are too strong. After two more weeks, the mix up happens again.

So, we've learned so far that Bessie isn't the smartest chick on the farm, but she is possibly the most devoted. She has become weak and thin. She has lost all of her feathers on her underside. And she is falling victim to the Hen House bullies as they pick at her. Yet she waits...

In a panic to help her we try to "break" her mood. We remove her eggs and remove her from the nesting box over and over again. We lock her out only to have her wait at the door to have her race in when it's opened to find her nest. It was heartbreaking. Mother Nature's powerful instincts had consumed this Mother Hen.

As a mother myself, I couldn't watch it anymore... her confusion, her devotion, her will. So, RT and I run to the feed store, buy 5 four-day-old chicks, and wait until well after dark. Then, in the late night moonlight, with a chick in each of our hands, we all creep into the chicken coop, I lift Bessie as she sleeps, and stuff the 5 chicks underneath her.

It was the most amazing sight to see her the next morning clucking and fussing over these chicks as they scampered out from under her wings and then back under cover of their Mother. No question in her little mind that these are her babies.

A Mother of 5.

She had done her job. She had waited patiently, and they had come. It didn't matter that they had come by way of a human mother's empathy, or a spiritual mother's instinct. They had come indeed.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Hello, old friend.

Let's pretend like we're old friends, dear blog. The kind of friends that you can go without seeing for months even years, but when you do reconnect it's like you've just seen them yesterday. You don't miss a beat. You don't feel guilty that so much has happened that you haven't shared.

Nope.

You just pick right up where you left off, thrilled... So, hey, old friend...




Knox.

Meet Knox. Knox is my new dog. Knox is a border collie. Knox is crazy!

Knox is pure joy for life morphed into the shape of a dog. Knox is intense and silly - a full contact dog.

Knox has a unknown history. His history with me starts at the Central California SPCA. So, we'll just start there, even though I know there is "history." Knox can be crushed with words. Devastated by your voice. Knox will run frightened until he hears even the slightest give in your voice, the tiniest change in your tone. He will detect it, and he will forgive you instantly for your lapse and come rushing back to your side. He forgives. It's cool. It reminds me to do the same...

Knox is an open heart, and that is what I love about him. He's all the other stuff that border collies are too - obsessed (with chickens and tennis balls), loads of energy (thank God for the invention of the Chuck It), intense (he can win any staring contest - especially if it's with a chicken...).

He sleeps flat on his back. He's learning not to put his front feet on the counter, and he has the wildest swirly hair on his rear-end, he's missing one of his front teeth - hence his nickname, Billy Bob...

Knox is... Knox is...

my dog.

And that means a lot.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

christmas gift

As the year drew to an end, and we dug into celebrating the holidays with our family, a stray kitten, by way of a friend, came our way. As nice as it would have been to say that the "inn" was full, I surprisingly felt compelled to take this not-so-cute, starving, wormy, whiskers-burnt white and orange kitten home with us.

Now, I do consider myself a spiritual person. I do believe in: things that are meant to be, that everything happens for a reason, that there is a Christmas spirit, that Santa does exist. And on this particular Christmas morning, after a year or more of losing some of our most favorite creatures that had the most pure spirits, I believe a tiny gift was meant to be delivered to our family.

Corny, I know... But, honestly a heartfelt belief.

This kitten, this silly little kitten represents all that we held dear and all that we are striving for as a family in the year to come. He stares through you with understanding like Bryce, my best four-legger did. He demands your affection but gives it back three-fold like Lily, our best feline friend did. He is patience, love, gratitude, satisfaction, and peace - with an orange tail and four paws.

Oliver, Oliver Twist, is the sweetest spirit that will remind us all that our life is enough. That we should hold each other close and say "I Love You" way too much. That we should enjoy the day for what it is - wear slippers, eat cookies out of the jar, lay on the bed and talk, laugh.

Oliver, we don't know where you came from, but we are so glad that you are here.

Thank you, Santa...