Sunday, June 23, 2013

but I only blinked once...



I am not sure what happened because I only blinked once... a quick blink... 
One that you don't even notice. 
A blink without thinking.
Seriously... 
blink


 Tiny babies turned into young ladies,
Elementary school turned into middle school,
Milk mustaches turned into glossed lips.
blink

Best friends documenting seven years of blinks
all their own. 
Do they realize the journey they have begun? 
Together.
Thank God... together.

Kindred spirits.

As I write I promise myself to blink more deliberately,
not to be caught off guard again 
by the surprising beauty of my growing girl and her bff.

Breathe and blink...





Thursday, July 12, 2012

pear lane


There are some things in your life, 
in your season, 
in your evening
that bring all good things together.

These things show the essence of something, 
the exact illustration of a feeling or an emotion.

For me it's 
an evening walk down Pear Lane.

That is summer.

It's my summer now.

Not the summer of my childhood.
It's the summer of my childrens' childhood.


It's the irrigation water running down the ditches 
that my children swam in when they were little.
The same water that quenches the blackberries 
that fill our pantry 
with wild blackberry jam 
for the seasons ahead.


It's the neighboring farmer's gate that my children sneak through 
to spy the fish
swimming in the
summer water troughs.


It's the giant oak that stands in the middle of the pasture, 
witnessing every season and showing it through it's branches.
The golden dried grass smooth around it.
The black cows sleeping under it.
The summer sun setting behind it.

It's summer.
It's home.

It's walking hand in dirty little hand
with my children, walking with my husband,
listening to the collective quiet exhale as evening emerges in the shade
and the hot day fades away.

It's Pear Lane.






Monday, June 25, 2012

a girl's best friend


Consider the raised flower bed. I have always wanted them.

Always.

There is something so organized and clean and orderly about raised flower beds.

Contained.

The chaos of a summer garden can be contained in a raised bed. Strong redwood setting clear boundaries for what should and should not be happening in that bed. No weeds. No chickens. No mess.

Are these raised beds a metaphor for my secret desire to have a quiet and orderly life? Do they represent calm control over things that are usually quite unruly?

Or...

Are these raised beds a symbol of possibilities and creativity? Empty soil canvases waiting for exotic herbs and gorgeous cutting flowers?

Or...

Are raised beds simply the answer to my aching summer-garden back and perpetually dirty knees?

Could be.

Or, it could be that these particular raised beds are so special because they were built by the hands that mean the most to me. It was noticed that I love raised beds even when he doesn't. The corner posts were finished with the beveled edges that I love on pasture fences. He remembered that.

Who needs diamonds to feel loved? I have raised beds.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

2012 County Fair

You take one goat.


Sprinkle in one small chicken.


Add one good-sized steer.


Don't forget a dozen brown eggs.


And what does it make? One excellent County Fair!






Monday, June 4, 2012

mother to mother to mother


Mother Nature is amazing to me.

Truly.

I always imagine Mother Nature as a beautiful spiritual, ethereal being. A wispy, wise, and peaceful presence.

Living on a farm we see Mother Nature's work daily. It has to be her. Who else would make the fruit trees bloom at just the right time in the spring? Who else would wake the sleeping daffodils under ground and tell them to come forward and announce themselves?

Who else would fill Bessie, our true Mother Hen, with the consuming "broody" urge to set on a clutch of eggs? Mother Nature has set a farm Mother to work. The work of unrelenting patience. Setting herself still and quiet for 21 days on a clutch of fertile eggs borrowed from the farm next door.

She's done it before, so we figured she could do it again. But things didn't go as planned for Bessie. After two weeks she became confused one night when returning to her nest after a short snack and leg stretch... She returned to the wrong nesting box. The eggs lay cold all night.

With a new batch of eggs, we start the count down again, as Bessie will not be deterred. Her instincts are too strong. After two more weeks, the mix up happens again.

So, we've learned so far that Bessie isn't the smartest chick on the farm, but she is possibly the most devoted. She has become weak and thin. She has lost all of her feathers on her underside. And she is falling victim to the Hen House bullies as they pick at her. Yet she waits...

In a panic to help her we try to "break" her mood. We remove her eggs and remove her from the nesting box over and over again. We lock her out only to have her wait at the door to have her race in when it's opened to find her nest. It was heartbreaking. Mother Nature's powerful instincts had consumed this Mother Hen.

As a mother myself, I couldn't watch it anymore... her confusion, her devotion, her will. So, RT and I run to the feed store, buy 5 four-day-old chicks, and wait until well after dark. Then, in the late night moonlight, with a chick in each of our hands, we all creep into the chicken coop, I lift Bessie as she sleeps, and stuff the 5 chicks underneath her.

It was the most amazing sight to see her the next morning clucking and fussing over these chicks as they scampered out from under her wings and then back under cover of their Mother. No question in her little mind that these are her babies.

A Mother of 5.

She had done her job. She had waited patiently, and they had come. It didn't matter that they had come by way of a human mother's empathy, or a spiritual mother's instinct. They had come indeed.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Hello, old friend.

Let's pretend like we're old friends, dear blog. The kind of friends that you can go without seeing for months even years, but when you do reconnect it's like you've just seen them yesterday. You don't miss a beat. You don't feel guilty that so much has happened that you haven't shared.

Nope.

You just pick right up where you left off, thrilled... So, hey, old friend...




Knox.

Meet Knox. Knox is my new dog. Knox is a border collie. Knox is crazy!

Knox is pure joy for life morphed into the shape of a dog. Knox is intense and silly - a full contact dog.

Knox has a unknown history. His history with me starts at the Central California SPCA. So, we'll just start there, even though I know there is "history." Knox can be crushed with words. Devastated by your voice. Knox will run frightened until he hears even the slightest give in your voice, the tiniest change in your tone. He will detect it, and he will forgive you instantly for your lapse and come rushing back to your side. He forgives. It's cool. It reminds me to do the same...

Knox is an open heart, and that is what I love about him. He's all the other stuff that border collies are too - obsessed (with chickens and tennis balls), loads of energy (thank God for the invention of the Chuck It), intense (he can win any staring contest - especially if it's with a chicken...).

He sleeps flat on his back. He's learning not to put his front feet on the counter, and he has the wildest swirly hair on his rear-end, he's missing one of his front teeth - hence his nickname, Billy Bob...

Knox is... Knox is...

my dog.

And that means a lot.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

christmas gift

As the year drew to an end, and we dug into celebrating the holidays with our family, a stray kitten, by way of a friend, came our way. As nice as it would have been to say that the "inn" was full, I surprisingly felt compelled to take this not-so-cute, starving, wormy, whiskers-burnt white and orange kitten home with us.

Now, I do consider myself a spiritual person. I do believe in: things that are meant to be, that everything happens for a reason, that there is a Christmas spirit, that Santa does exist. And on this particular Christmas morning, after a year or more of losing some of our most favorite creatures that had the most pure spirits, I believe a tiny gift was meant to be delivered to our family.

Corny, I know... But, honestly a heartfelt belief.

This kitten, this silly little kitten represents all that we held dear and all that we are striving for as a family in the year to come. He stares through you with understanding like Bryce, my best four-legger did. He demands your affection but gives it back three-fold like Lily, our best feline friend did. He is patience, love, gratitude, satisfaction, and peace - with an orange tail and four paws.

Oliver, Oliver Twist, is the sweetest spirit that will remind us all that our life is enough. That we should hold each other close and say "I Love You" way too much. That we should enjoy the day for what it is - wear slippers, eat cookies out of the jar, lay on the bed and talk, laugh.

Oliver, we don't know where you came from, but we are so glad that you are here.

Thank you, Santa...

Monday, October 31, 2011

red




yeah, yeah... I'm back in business. There's too much good stuff that happens in our life to let it just slip by. I must write!

So, with Fall comes the beginning of 4H. RT's only request at the end of 4H last year was that could he please raise a steer because he didn't want to be the only boy in middle school showing his Nigerian Dwarf goat at the fair... What, not manly enough for you RT?

After much discussion, analysis, reasoning, rationalizing, and agonizing we decided to cross over to the dark side... raising a market animal. Meat animal. Short term project... and after too many glasses of wine at an FFA benefit dinner, one introduction, and one phone call later, RT became a beef cattle rancher... a rancher of one.

Red.

In the idealic setting of farmland and rolling hills, at a dear friend's home, a handsome - clearly champion worthy - hereford steer has come to live. My son's first business endeavor... well, besides the market eggs of last year. And I'm not making fun... those eggs fetched a silver Supreme Champion belt buckle and $250 at the livestock auction... not bad for 12 stinking eggs.

Anyway, back to Red. RT didn't over think the name. It was between Burger (too mean, I said), #110 (ear tag), and Red (note his color.) But we are over thinking everything else: brand of feed (hours of research), type of hay (tried two types already), halters, coat blowers, corral fencing, exercise schedule, weigh dates, hoof trimming, blow drying...

And I thought blow drying the chickens was weird.

OK, blow drying chickens is weird...

In this short period of time we have all already learned so much: there is no end to the number of flies in the world, cow tongues are scratchy, cow poop is easier to clean up than horse poop (cow poop stays together in one plop), cows like to play (yes, Red was trying to play when he was tossing his head and running after RT... "Stay behind the tree" I'm yelling. Please God let no one have filmed us...) Anyway the learning goes on and on and on. So stay tuned. This project is sure to yield some great laughs!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

country goodness




There is the most wonderful place of country goodness that I have discovered deep in the heart of the tiny town I live in.

The Hen House.

The Hen House is full of all things wonderful... fairy lights, cobwebs, laughter, and the most mouth watering, delicious smelling, homemade soaps and lotion you'll ever come across.

Ever.

The Hen House is a family-run shop on the property of my new friend, Veronica. She shares the shop with her best friend... so you can tell already, good things are happening in this little place. The shop itself is one of the out-buildings of the original dairy that called this gorgeous piece of property home.

From the time you turn onto the drive-way lined with untamed grape vines and rose bushes set off by the beautiful, lush irrigated pastures as a backdrop, a peaceful, warm feeling comes over you.

When you pass under the rusty iron arched trellis, stepping carefully on the concrete stone that has "welcome" scrolled on it, you are greeted by a friendly selection of lazy ranch dogs.

And you indeed feel welcome.

Whether you are being helped by a daughter or a niece or Veronica herself, you feel like the afternoon's most special visitor. You are told about the latest soaps, the yummiest lotion creations, and of course, any local news that has flown through the hen house...

Magical.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

time to exhale...


I have been holding my breath for a week now. Ok, maybe not holding it completely, but I've definitely been taking shallow, jagged breaths, with my eyes squinched tightly shut, while I've waited for the dust of this last week to settle. I couldn't write, no photographs, I barely cooked.

You see, school started on Monday. And while that's a simple little sentence that I just typed, the actual meaning of it for this family is ginormous, life-altering... shallow-breathing-worthy...

After having an absolutely horrendous school year last year for three out of four of us... the prospect of it all starting up again seriously made me stop and examine what was really important to me and us, as a family.

The results?

Us, as a family.

Plain and simple. Our health - mental, emotional and physical... our time - well spent, relaxed, precious... and each other - inspired, at peace, and happy. All of which is compromised by the addition of school...

With one child heading to fifth grade (fifth grade math, fifth grade girl drama), one child heading to middle school (middle school math, middle school drama) and one parent heading to first grade (luckily, first grade math I can handle...) there was all the makings for a serious formation of the pressure cooker of last year.

However, upon waking up this morning, the Saturday morning of the first week, I had a very "Wizard of Oz" kind of feeling - the scene where the house falls on the Wicked Witch and after things settle, with the coaxing of Glenda the Good Witch, the little munchkins peek out from behind the bushes and hesitantly tip toe back out into life.

As the munchkins in our little life, emerging from the bushes, RT is kicking serious middle school booty, Bee is over-the-moon for her teacher, and I am thrilled with the group of little ones I will be spending my days with this year.

Lower the shoulders, open the eyes, unclench the fists, big exhale...

Dust has settled and I think we're all going to make it... of course, I'll cross my fingers just in case...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

proud mother!


Well, after 21 days... actually 22 days of sitting on a clutch of eggs, Henrietta is the proud mother of four teensy little chickie-pies!

One tan and brown, one gray, two yellow and brown weighing as much as a feather and healthy as can be.

Mother is NOT resting comfortably. She's chasing chicks around the hen house, keeping all of the nosey Aunts away.

And really, the Aunts aren't interested in the chicks... it's the chick crumble that they want... those fat, pushy Aunts...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

whoa there...




Wow, where did the weekend go? Lucky for me, part of the weekend was spent learning how to make jam with my sister. I have always, always, always wanted to learn how to make my own jam. To me, making your own jam is the quintessential country girl thing to do.

How many thousands of ladies across numerous generations have stood in sweltering summer kitchens just like my sister and I did? Creating yummy recipes in the middle of a busy and bustling kitchen. Kids in and out, and in and out. Dogs circling around looking for a cool place to rest. Kitchen fans whirling, trying to keep the steam scattered, while the pots on the stove filled with sugary goodness bubbled and boiled madly.

The results? Jams for all palettes: blackberry, peach, blackberry lemon basil, blackberry merlot, cinnamon blackberry vanilla, and peach jalapeno thai basil.

We used peaches from our trees, basil from our garden, and yes, blackberries from our lane. Not too hard, not too easy. A summer country culinary tradition that was just right!

De-lish, with a capital D

Friday, August 5, 2011

counting our pumpkins before they've hatched...




Every year I have a struggle planting pumpkins. It's not that the actual act of preparing the ground and planting that's hard. It's the fact that every year we work like dogs to plant everytyhing else in the garden and because you have a little bit of time before pumpkin seeds should go in the ground I am always late doing it.

But this year is a whole different story....

Ground prepared? Check.

Seeds purchased? Check.

Irrigation lines run? Check.

Sunny warm weather? Sunny warm weather? Bueller? Bueller?

Hey, where's the stinking sun?

We have had a crazy, insanely, seriously unusually cool summer. And while I personally love, love, love it! As a gardener it's no bueno.

"Look, Mother Nature... I have two large children, one small niece and her two mini girl friends that I am supposed to be growing a pumpkin patch for. I held up my end of the bargain - for once - so bring it! Cast you light, give us your best shot, let'er rip."

Sun on the pumpkins, please, ma'am.

Please?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

purple hands...




The thing about living on our lane is that you spend a portion of the summer with purple hands. Part of our beautiful road is lined with the most luscious wild blackberries that you have ever tasted. And as soon as the they come ripe... "Let the games begin!"

You only have a small window of time that the berries are ripe for the pick'in. Too early and they are seriously sour. Too late and they dry up or get eaten by the birds. So, when the time is right, it is a mandatory family activity to pick for as many nights as we can until we can't take it any longer... until our arms and hands are scratched and stinging from the thorny vines protecting the berries.

Yeah, wild blackberry vines make you pay dearly.

Each night we don our rubber boots, load the berry boards into the landscape cart, get our bucket and hit the road. The berry boards are long boards ( like 2"x12"x8') that we can stand on. You toss one end into the vines then walk like you are walking the plank of a pirate ship up into the berries. Got'cha!

My favorite time to pick berries is at dusk. Tonight as we picked in silence - a rarity- you could hear the horses in the pasture on the other side of the berries. You could hear their hoof beats as they goofed around, bucking and playing in the evening breeze. You could hear the crickets tune up and begin their night music. Dogs barking in the distance. Oak leaves rustling overhead.

Peaceful.

Peace and purple hands...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

miley, not cyrus...




Miley is a cat.

Miley is a very cool cat.

Miley is perfectly chocolate brown and white, like no other cat I have ever seen.

Miley sleeps every night on top of a big pillow that is on top of the hope chest at the end of our bed.

Miley is a fierce hunter and on this particular day Miley was bent on "fake" hunting this chicken (either Salt or Sugar, we can't keep them straight... go figure...).

Miley slinked right up to that chicken, and that chicken took right out after Miley...

See Miley.

See Miley run from Angry Chicken.

See Angry Chicken nearly connect with Miley's rear-end...

Lucky Miley...

Monday, August 1, 2011

sunday surprise!




Yesterday we discovered a summer treasure... the Pear Fair in Courtland, California. Courtland is a tiny town along an area of the Delta that is known for it's fabulous pears. So on this mild Sunday morning, we decided to check out the 39th annual Pear Fair.

After turning off the the levee River Road we descended into what seemed like a movie set... a tiny little town that consisted of a volunteer fire department, a school, a town hall, a church and a few blocks of charming old homes. There was the usual fair-type children's games, classic car show, vendors and a way-too-loud band playing under the enormous white tent. And also to our delight, there was the food!

We decided we could only eat food that had some sort of pear in it. So, let'er rip! We had prickly pear smoothies, fuzzy pear smoothies, pear sausage, pear pie, and finally, nachos with pear salsa.

Yum. Yummy, yum, yum...

But, I have to say, the food was not the best part of the day... The best part of this summer Sunday was the Pear Fair Parade.

We were witness to one of the most endearing parades I have ever seen. Led by the Pear Fair royal court, pretty high school girls being driven in classic cars, the short parade passed between the church and the town hall, circling the square one time. There were old tractors that had been cleaned up for the day, make-shift floats celebrating generations of river family farms, the high school cheerleaders and an assortment of young boys on quads.

And as each floats passed by, they were greeted by the Fair Pear Queen, Miss Sarah Simpson, a Courtland classic lady dressed in her pear suit and holding her staff and basket - a tradition we guessed. You could hear shouts of "Hello" and "Hey there" coming from the parade participants as they passed by.

With the giant trees that lined the streets shading the parade, small kids on their daddy's shoulders waved and clapped while some grown-ups chose to watch from the wine tasting tents or from their lawn chairs along the route.

As the parade came to an end, the new Pear Fair Queen was crowned as her Pear Blossoms, tiny future queens, surrounded her. 1940s music was keyed up over the loudspeakers and the crowd dispersed to resume eating, visiting or just relaxing in the shade.

After all, they needed their strength for the Pear Pie Eating Contest at 2:30...

Sunday, July 31, 2011

wonderful evening!




I love nothing more than making impromptu plans. Something about acting on a spur of the moment idea makes the idea even that more cool when the plans works out.

Sitting in my classroom on Friday afternoon, when I should have been prepping for the quickly approaching next school year, I found myself checking my email and seeing a reminder about a free jazz concert at a local winery... operative words being free and winery. In a split second and two texts later we had plans with our wine-loving friends and their kids to attend a jazz concert on the lawn at McConnell Estates Winery.

A quick trip to the store, home to pack blankets, chairs and sweatshirts, and we were on our way.

Having never been to a concert at this winery we had no idea what to expect. But when we rounded the curve on the path to the lawn we were completely enchanted. Huge shade trees strung with fairy lights and paper lanterns, blooming flowers in manicured beds, and luscious green grass sprinkled with oh-so-mello folks enjoying wine and the company of friends!

The weather was perfect. The wine was delicious. The conversation was filled with banter and laughter. The kids were occupied with dancing, building pyramids, generally acting silly...

A perfect impromptu evening. A+

Thursday, July 28, 2011

our style family va-ca



We left our little farm on Monday for a short family vacation/visit to our central California's BIG family farm. And there was one over-arching theme to this vacation -riding... Riding bikes, riding ponies, riding quads, riding gators, riding the hot-walker... and so on.

We absolutely love to visit the big farm! We see all the familiar summer sights: alfalfa, corn, and grapes growing, dogs, dogs, and more dogs, all manner of farm animals, all manner of farm implements, the big old farm house, but mostly we love to see our aunts, uncles and cousins that we love so much. It is one of our family's favorite places to go. We even left Disneyland a day early one year to head back to the farm... call us crazy, I know...

Our kids spend hours playing with animals, running through sprinklers, riding things (of course), and doing some work to earn our keep. They start at dawn and don't stop until way after dark, falling into bed to rest up and do it all again tomorrow.

We so enjoyed this fun getaway, and are especially thankful for the family and friends that kept things going at our place while we were gone!

Monday, July 25, 2011

a beginning in the end.


I have never been good with endings. Never. I have an uncanny ability to detect the mid point of any vacation, holiday, lunch date, whatever. I know when the end is near. I'm like a human countdown clock. And that's not an easy way to live, because half of the time you feel your time is running out. The end is in fact near...

Now, since I am, well, me I have already started my internal countdown of the days of our summer. Each little milestone that marks that the end is rushing at top speed toward us. And I know all too well that the end of summer marks a beginning that is not for the faint of heart, a beginning of schedules and calendars, a beginning of that feeling that our life has taken on a life of it's own.

It's that feeling that you get when you are on a roller coaster climbing up that first big hill. You hear the click, click, click, click as you climb higher and higher. But it's the suspension in time and reality after reaching the top of the climb and you hear the clunk of the release of the wheel gripper thingys that is the killer. It's that split second where you are teetering on the top of the world. You suck in your breath. You eyes pop open briefly before they will certainly be slammed shut again. You know you're off, done for. There's no turning back.

Yeah, I'm kind of in that state today. We've had the talk with the kids, "With three weeks left what do you guys really, really, really want to do?" I've crossed all of those "summer" projects left undone off my list: dusting baseboards, organizing the pantry, obedience training Violet, on and on and on.

But, upon walking into the garden last night, I found a very unexpected gift, a sign that good will carry on in our life despite the ending of summer. And it came in the form of a sunflower.

For months we have been watching our sunflower plants grow: watering, weeding, watering, weeding... no flowers. But last night, perched at the very top of each stalk, shooting into the sky, we saw the spiky beginnings of the flowers. Signs of hope at the top of the world. A beginning in the middle of what seems like the end.

So, this time on this ride on this day as I face the end of summer, I make a choice to live differently. I will not scrunch my eyes shut, lock my death grip, hike my shoulders and scream all the way down. I choose to throw my arms into the air, toss my head back and laugh all the way through each dip and rise and turn and tumble that faces us. I choose to sit back and enjoy the ride!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

state fair


This summer I was on the fence about whether to visit the California State Fair or not. But, then in the mail I received an invitation for 4H Alumni to come to the 4H booth at the fair. They are compiling pictures of 4Hers and their thoughts on 4H for a 100 year celebration project for the year 2013. How cool is that! I was really proud to have been and currently be part of an organization like 4H that has so much to offer and teach children about agriculture, leadership, responsibility, and hard work.

So, decision made. We packed up and trekked to the fair. We went to the 4H booth, of course. Bee and I were photographed together. RT chose to be shot with his buddy. Then off to the gardens, my favorite part of the fair. They were amazing! The vegetable planters and flowers were so cool. We got awesome ideas for trellises and cages and irrigation systems. Dorky, I know. But super cool to us. Those farmer/designers are so talented. I am green with envy.

And of course, when taking children to a fair there is the obligatory begging, usually for food on a stick or horribly overpriced lemonade. But no, with our kids it's not begging for the usual stuff. Oh no...

Most of the begging this year came from the younger child. She was begging for a dairy heifer. Yes, a calf. Begging to do a dairy project in 4H next year. And during the begging, her usual 1,000 questions on the subject were launched. So many questions that I finally said that I would get on Amazon.com when I got home and order her some books on 4H dairy heifers and different dairy cow breeds. That shut her up for awhile.

We watched the Guernsey show. We visited the dairy nursery. We watched the dairy vet students from UC Davis. We walked the dairy barns - Open and Junior. And we talked to our dairy 4H leader - yes, about a dairy heifer project.

Next year at the fair, I will welcome the begging for a stinking corn dog... Love that Bee.