a beginning in the end.

I have never been good with endings. Never. I have an uncanny ability to detect the mid point of any vacation, holiday, lunch date, whatever. I know when the end is near. I'm like a human countdown clock. And that's not an easy way to live, because half of the time you feel your time is running out. The end is in fact near...

Now, since I am, well, me I have already started my internal countdown of the days of our summer. Each little milestone that marks that the end is rushing at top speed toward us. And I know all too well that the end of summer marks a beginning that is not for the faint of heart, a beginning of schedules and calendars, a beginning of that feeling that our life has taken on a life of it's own.

It's that feeling that you get when you are on a roller coaster climbing up that first big hill. You hear the click, click, click, click as you climb higher and higher. But it's the suspension in time and reality after reaching the top of the climb and you hear the clunk of the release of the wheel gripper thingys that is the killer. It's that split second where you are teetering on the top of the world. You suck in your breath. You eyes pop open briefly before they will certainly be slammed shut again. You know you're off, done for. There's no turning back.

Yeah, I'm kind of in that state today. We've had the talk with the kids, "With three weeks left what do you guys really, really, really want to do?" I've crossed all of those "summer" projects left undone off my list: dusting baseboards, organizing the pantry, obedience training Violet, on and on and on.

But, upon walking into the garden last night, I found a very unexpected gift, a sign that good will carry on in our life despite the ending of summer. And it came in the form of a sunflower.

For months we have been watching our sunflower plants grow: watering, weeding, watering, weeding... no flowers. But last night, perched at the very top of each stalk, shooting into the sky, we saw the spiky beginnings of the flowers. Signs of hope at the top of the world. A beginning in the middle of what seems like the end.

So, this time on this ride on this day as I face the end of summer, I make a choice to live differently. I will not scrunch my eyes shut, lock my death grip, hike my shoulders and scream all the way down. I choose to throw my arms into the air, toss my head back and laugh all the way through each dip and rise and turn and tumble that faces us. I choose to sit back and enjoy the ride!